Archive for March, 2008
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Acomplia Generic
Acomplia generic, This is Part 2 of a two part series that focuses on adoptive and foster families and our churches. If you haven't read Part 1, you should ;)
I believe that adoptive and foster families are making it clear – they are saying that far too often our local churches are not 'safe' places for them – or at least not as 'safe' as they can and should be. The unavoidable reality is that many families have responded in faith by pursuing adoption or foster care, sometimes against all odds and in the face of significant and daunting challenges. Simply put, these families have refused to 'play it safe.' They've said 'Yes!' to the lifelong journey of adoption or foster care . . , acomplia generic. and I believe that our churches must in turn discover how to honor these responses of faith, obedience and courage by becoming communities that openly welcome, truly understand and fully embrace adoptive and foster families.
Becoming a 'Safe Place' for Those Who Don't Play It Safe
I believe there are five essential things local churches must commit to become in order to be the 'safest place on earth' for adoptive and families. Make no mistake, each local church ministry will express a unique sense of community and way of doing ministry that is all its own. I am not suggesting a prescription for 'one size that fits all' or even a specific ministry model to be applied uniformly. Acomplia generic, Instead, I am emphasizing what our churches need to 'become,' rather than merely 'do.' It is fundamental that our communities of faith fully realize and embrace the lifelong journey that these families are walking – and commit to being a church that will walk beside them each and every step of the way.
Churches that desire to become a 'safe place' must:
1. Become Missional – The term 'missional' is much in vogue in church circles these days, and undoubtedly it has a variety of meanings ultimately focused on the role of the Church in proclaiming the Good News. But the term also clearly emphasizes a need to become intentional and focused in communicating and living out a message of hope and love. Churches that are missional as it relates to adoption and foster care reach out to adoptive and foster families and are willing and able to translate that message of hope and love being lived out in the lives of these families to a broader church culture that, in many ways, does not have an accurate, realistic and healthy understanding of adoption and foster care. In order to become missional in this respect churches must go out of their way to tell the stories of adoptive and foster families, and must consider their needs and unique characteristics as they develop and design programs and activities, acomplia generic. In short, churches must embrace every aspect of the unique journey that God has called these families to. This process of becoming missional is, much like the overall process of becoming a "safe" place for adoptive and foster families, just that – a process. The transformation will not occur all at once, but neither will our churches become the 'safest place on earth' by accident. They must determine to become intentional and focused about living out the heart of God for the orphan and loving and serving families who faithfully respond by adopting or fostering.
Acomplia generic, 2. Become Open and Willing to Learn – Effectively ministering to adoptive and foster families (as well as those who are exploring) will require that our churches become far more educated on these subjects than most currently are. I believe that staff and lay leaders alike must become familiar with the facts and realities that confront these families and their children, buy prozac bars. This will require that they begin to listen, read and research as they seek to truly understand realities about which too many in our churches are completely unaware. It will require an effort to understand the perspectives and struggles of adoptive and foster families, not so much to offer 'solutions' but to learn how to better love and serve them. Our churches need to learn the right questions to ask, the right ways to offer encouragement and practical support and how to pray for adoptive and foster families, acomplia generic. Although this task may seem difficult and challenging, there are in fact several churches that are becoming missional about loving and serving adoptive and foster families. These churches represent a tremendous source of insight and information to help other churches as they undertake this important process. In addition, by being open and willing to learn the local church can become a much needed source of accurate and reliable information about adoption and foster care.
3. Become Honest and Prepared to Get Messy Acomplia generic, – Adoption and foster care are full of joy, blessings and hope. I believe these realities are what most clearly and fully characterize these life changing journeys. But they also have their share of loss, grief, disappointment, fear, doubt and so many different characteristics that result from our fallen and sinful state. As such, it often seems that far too many churches are simply too perfect for adoptive and foster families. That's not because adoptive and foster families are any less perfect than 'normal' families, but rather because, in my estimation, healthy adoptive and foster families are often more open with their imperfectness. In other words, adoptive and foster families are often messy, acomplia generic. These families are daily reminded of a condition that afflicts us all – our brokenness. And although God has done and is continuing a miraculous work in these families, the history of abuse, abandonment, rejection, neglect, loss and grief that, in varying ways and to varying degrees, is inevitably a part of the adoption or foster care journey calls for a lifelong commitment from adoptive and foster families to help their children heal. Zithromax, These families are NOT perfect, but they are experiencing day by day the redemptive and transformational power of the love of God. What adoptive and foster families desperately need is for local churches to fully embrace them and become an integral part of this redemptive and transformational work. Acomplia generic, As they grow into just such a community for adoptive and foster families our churches will rediscover just how beautiful messy can be.
4. Become Willing to Change – What good is it if our churches seek to learn, become open and honest and even come to grips with the messiness that sometimes accompanies adoption and foster care, but are not themselves truly willing to change. Churches must become willing to respond to these new and growing realities and to live out their desire to welcome and embrace adoptive and foster families. As they examine their willingness to change they must ask specific questions that speak to the tangible and practical characteristics of church life that impact adoptive and foster families. Will we examine our children's ministry, acomplia generic. Our jr. high and youth ministry. Will we seek to understand and respond to the real and unique needs of adoptive and foster parents. Will we commit time and resources to develop an effective relief and respite care ministry for foster parents. Acomplia generic, Will we ensure that the church nursery and childcare offerings are compliant with the minimum standards that apply to the care of children in foster care. Will we evaluate whether our teaching on parenting and discipline is truly best for children who spent years in under-resourced orphanages deprived of opportunities to develop healthy attachments and bonds, or kids that have suffered a childhood full of abuse and neglect, or even children adopted as infants who were exposed to extreme stress or harmful substances before birth. Will we re-think our 'one size fits all' mentality and our view that all adopted and foster children really need is 'love,' and begin to truly love these families by changing the way we 'do church' so that our desire to embrace and serve adoptive and foster families is obvious and sincere. 'Safe' churches must answer a resounding 'Yes!' to these and similar questions and then follow through.
5. Become Committed for the Long Haul – Here's a secret about adoptive families – you ready, acomplia generic. The adoption journey does not end when the adoption is finalized. The adoption journey ends when you DIE. Adoptive and foster families need churches that are committed for the long haul . . . committed during the highs and the lows . . . committed during the times of joy and the seasons of pain . , acomplia generic. . committed to celebrating the blessing and grappling with the loss and grief. The hard truth is that too many churches aren't real good at sticking with things over a long period of time, particularly as things get sticky and messy. As churches increasingly focus more attention on the needs of orphans and challenge followers of Christ to consider how God might be calling or leading them to respond, order tramadol bars, including obviously adoption and foster care, these churches must commit to fully embrace families that respond by adopting and fostering – not just until the child arrives home or as long as everyone lives happily ever after, but for as long as it takes and no matter what. Acomplia generic, If local churches are willing to walk this journey of faith alongside the families that God has formed and transformed through the miracle of adoption and foster care . . . I believe that not only will those churches become the 'safest places on earth' for these daring families, but I believe that churches will to be a part of something truly remarkable. Churches all across America will be an integral part of the Gospel being lived out visibly in the lives of adoptive and foster families.
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Ordering levitra online, If you're like me, when you initially think of orphans and children in need your mind is probably immediately drawn to the tens of millions of children living in Africa, Asia, Latin America and Eastern Europe – children over "there." And this is for good reason. According to the UNICEF report Children on the Brink 2004, there were over 16 million children worldwide in 2003 without a father or a mother. Sadly, there are certainly many more by now. We often hear about the more than 143 million children in the world today that are physical or social orphans, but honestly I am not altogether sure our minds or our hearts can really process the sheer magnitude of numbers like these. After all, we are not really talking about "numbers" – we are talking about children, each made in the image of God and each crying out for compassion and help.
But far fewer people seem to be aware of the situation that faces so many children "here" – even 'here' in the Dallas-Ft, ordering levitra online. Worth area (where I live). No, the numbers are not quite as staggering as they are on the international front, unless of course you consider that this is by far the wealthiest and most resourceful country in the history of the world. We have no ongoing war within our borders, no famine, no pandemic of disease, and yet there are over 500,000 children in America's foster care system as a result of abuse, Soma for sale, abandonment or neglect. They represent the fatherless and children in need that are right 'here.' In North Texas alone there are over 4,000 children in foster care and over 1,000 of these children are waiting right now to be adopted by forever families. Ordering levitra online, The challenge for those who follow Jesus Christ is clear when it comes to the fatherless and children in need – whether they are half a world away or literally down the street. The Old Testament is filled with instructions to God's people concerning the care and concern they are to extend to the 'fatherless.' The early church leader James was equally clear, citing care for widows and orphans as that which is 'pure and faultless' in the eyes of God (James 1:27). And in Matthew 25 Jesus himself identified with the overlooked and ignored, stating that 'as you did it to one of the least of these, you did it to me.'
But responding to God's heart for the fatherless should not require us to choose between the needs of children 'there' versus children 'here.' The love of God and the ultimate fulfillment of hope found in Him are available to children everywhere . . . and so in response to the 'either/or' question of children 'there' versus 'here' we should be ready to answer a resounding 'BOTH.' As we continue to go to the ends of the earth to love and serve children in need, we should also be found willing and faithful to walk down the street and drive across town to be the hands and feet of Jesus to children in our own Jerusalem, ordering levitra online. We need not debate nor be forced to choose which children have the greatest needs. There are more than enough needs to go around and what is needed most is willingness on the part of those who follow Jesus Christ to simply be available and willing to serve.
Tom Davis puts this well in his book, Fields of the Fatherless, stating that we as Christ-followers are called to a 'broad redemptive caring' which means giving of not only our money but also our time, our talents and our very selves in order 'to enter into the lives of the suffering in a way that makes a community and a family available to them.' This is precisely what children 'here' need most – a community that fully embraces them and seeks to claim them as their 'own' in a variety of creative and redemptive ways.
As we think about children in foster care, however, we must face the stark reality that not only are there a large and growing number of children in the system, buy tramadol without prescription, but that the foster care system is, in many ways, broken and overwhelmed. Ordering levitra online, Time is literally running out for hundreds of children in our area who face uncertain futures without a family, an advocate, a mentor or anyone to claim them. Whether we are talking about the over 300 teenagers in our area that 'age-out' of foster care each year move towards adulthood with no family to call their own, or the countless number of kids scattered throughout the state because of a lack of foster families in our area, the needs of children 'here' are many and varied, and so too are the opportunities to serve.
These realities should remind us of what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. referred to as the 'fierce urgency of now.' Dr. King's calls for justice were repeatedly met with voices arguing for restraint and delay, but he prophetically insisted that 'now' is the time, ordering levitra online. Likewise, 'now' is the time for followers of Jesus Christ to step forward and lay claim to the privilege of being a voice for children 'here.' In so doing, we have the opportunity to overwhelm an overwhelmed system by loving, serving and caring for children in our own community like never before.
This call to love in action is not our responsibility – it is our privilege. In 2 Corinthians chapter 8 the apostle Paul writes of the surprising and generous ways of the Macedonian church. He recounts how these 'desperately poor' Christians were 'pleading for the privilege of helping out' those in need around them. In an era marked by talk of responsibility and civic duty, Lasix pharmacy, one of the unique hallmarks of the Body of Christ is the spirit in which we seek to serve those in need. I believe that God desires to raise up communities of Christ followers that are 'pleading for the privilege' to serve children 'here' and 'now,' not because it is their religious obligation or moral duty, but because it is an expression of the love of God overflowing in their hearts and lives. And as we allow this love in action to overflow we will experience the indescribable privilege and joy of being a part of the transformational work of God in the lives of ignored and overlooked children 'here' and 'now.'
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Cheap Nexium Online
This is Part 2 of "Adopting Sevyn Grace." Care to read Part 1 Cheap nexium online, .

Last night (Saturday) was Gracie's first over-night visit with us. The foster mom and her college-aged son brought Gracie to our home early in the afternoon. It was obvious leaving her with us was difficult for both of them. Her son is very fond of Sevyn and I don't think the her foster mom has been away from her. She let us know that Gracie felt a little warm. They sat for a few minutes and then were on their way - tears welling as the walked out the door, cheap nexium online. We felt sick in our hearts.
Adoption is full of pain and loss. There is no escaping it. I'm finding it's very easy to get self-centered. Cheap nexium online, I found myself being angry with her foster mom for making us feel like bad people. I know that sounds immature and unreasonable, but this is what happens to the human heart when the rubber meets the road. It's very easy to make predictions about how we'll behave in certain situations. Cheap cialis bars, Really simple to see how everyone else can improve - the agency, the foster parents, our parents, our friends, my wife and so on. The truth is, if I'm having a hard time with something I'm partly to blame. The good news is that the same God who can forgive me can also help me, cheap nexium online. I've begun praying for a broader perspective.
Over the course of the evening, Gracie's fever increased to 103.7°. We gave her some ibuprofen and put a cool cloth on her head. Her fever came down quite a bit. Cheap nexium online, Jaimes and I had an event to attend that evening, which gave Kristin and Gracie some good mommy/daughter bonding time. It was good for Jaimes and I to get out together, discount prozac. We saw some friends, ran some errands, and just "did life" together. It didn't feel like parenting. I don't know if that's good or bad.
Sunday morning ushered in daylight savings, cheap nexium online. We sprung ahead today, losing an hour of sweet, sweet sleep and subsequently skipping church. Kristin ran to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients for pancakes. "If you want, you can give Gracie some Cheerios to tide her over until breakfast, Where to buy cheap prozac, " she said before shutting the door behind her.
What you're about to watch is beautifully mundane. In the midst of all the peaks and valleys, this was a moment of utter rest for me:
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Propecia For Sale
Propecia for sale, My wife and I are adopting a little girl. She will be coming home forever on March 15th. Kristin has been doing a great job keeping friends and family up to speed on our family blog and I've been posting photos daily. The past couple weeks have been a roller-coaster of emotions and expectations. We started the transition process this past Monday, so I thought I'd bring you up to speed and then do my best to give you a play-by-play from my perspective over the next week or so before the placement.
Some history
In November (2007), we went inactive as foster parents to pursue a private domestic adoption, propecia for sale. Here's why:
- We had been foster parents and loved it, but we were trying to grow our family. It had been about a year and we hadn't had an opportunity to adopt any of the boy we'd cared for. So we decided to put fostering on hold for a while and pursue a straight adoption.
- We chose to look at private agencies instead of CPS because we wanted to adopt a child younger than our daughter who is 3 (almost 4). While this isn't impossible through CPS, it's (often) a little easier through a private agency.
- We also wanted to experience another realm of adoption. Propecia for sale, We lead the foster and adoption ministry at our church and thought, since we had the opportunity, this would be a good experience for us to go through.
- We talked about adopting from another country. Maybe someday - but foreign adoptions can get really complicated and expensive. We just felt like those things were a bit out of reach for us for now.
- All of the children we'd cared for has foster parents had been African American. For this adoption, that's just the picture we had in our minds. We kept saying our "ideal" adoption would be of a black girl, 2 years old or younger. I think it's okay (and even good?) to have a vision like that for your family, propecia for sale. When those kinds of expectations become demands though, I suggest a heart-check. Moving on...
In early December, we received and email from Michael and Amy Monroe about a little girl a local agency was actively pursuing a home for. She was a 10 month old black girl. We got in touch with the agency immediately and scheduled a meeting to learn more. Propecia for sale, Throughout December we worked on the pre-application materials. We spent January working on the actual application materials an raising support. I wasn't too keen on this idea t first, but here were the hard facts:
- We really wanted to adopt this little girl.
- We had just begun looking when we found out about her and had no savings for this.
- If we were going to adopt her, we were either going to go into debt or raise support.
We decided to raise support over taking on the debt. I was uneasy about this to say the least. I was afraid of what this would look like to friends and even to family. I was afraid people would say, "It's not our responsibility to pay for your adoption, propecia for sale. If you can't afford it, don't do it. Begging really doesn't become you." Never the less, Bactrim discount, we prayed and felt God's prompting to move forward this way. Here's what happened:
- Tapestry awarded us a $1500 matching grant. If we raised $1500, they would contribute $1500 to that adoption expenses.
- We wrote support letters. You can download it here Propecia for sale, for future reference. The support money was raised in 2 weeks.
- We crapped ourselves.
- Friends emailed us, called us, prayed for us, and sent us gift cards and checks to help pay for all the ambiguous extras that come with having another child.
- We were utterly humbled.
- Our agency awarded us a $2000 scholarship, which will ultimately alleviate all the legal expenses come finalization time.
- I learned for the first time that nothing is hard for God.
Sevyn Grace
So the big question - what do we call her. We decided to keep her birth name for two reasons. We liked it (though it took a few days to grow on us) and we wanted to build a bridge with her birth mother. I think that, when it's appropriate, it's really good for adoptive kids to know where they came from and, as they are able to digest the information, to understand why their birth parents ultimately could not parent them. For what it's worth, I think this is our daughter's story to tell some day, not mine, propecia for sale. Anyway - we kept her birth name and gave her the middle name Grace. We affectionately call her Gracie.When our agency first asked us about naming her, they suggested we keep her birth name for her identity reasons as she grows up. To be frank, I don't really find this a viable reason for keep ing a birth name. Propecia for sale, I can speak more on that in the comments if anyone's interested.
The transition period
So here we are. Finally interacting with our daughter after all these months of only seeing pictures. The first couple of days were awkward. We visited her at her foster mother's house. Foster mom has had her since she was 3 days old and has grown incredibly attached - which is good, propecia for sale. It was strange playing with Gracie at her house - definitely a lot of unspoken tension. This has been a lot harder for Kristin than it has for me, though I'm sure if there was a foster dad in the picture, I'd be struggling just as much.After spending sometime over there on Monday and Tuesday, we got Gracie to ourselves on Wednesday. This was a breath of fresh air. Here's what I wrote on our family blog about it:
Propecia for sale, I (Matt) picked her up this morning around 8AM. We hadn't been back for more than 60 seconds before I found myself worrying about showing Jaimes enough attention, ordering viagra. Overall she (Jaimes) did really well. I could tell there was a lot going on behind her eyes. She and I took the trash out together and I asked what she was thinking about. She didn't give me much, but I'm confident she'll share if she needs to, propecia for sale.
Kristin fed Gracie a bottle and held her for about twenty minutes before putting her down for a nap. It was very encouraging to see her connect with her daughter like this. It's been an awkward week up until this point. Having Gracie to ourselves helped us let our guard down and just be in love. Propecia for sale, We've been exhausted - I actually thought I had the flu last night. Turns out I was just fatigued to the point of nausea. Today was quite literally a breath of fresh air. I took the day off work and we took a family walk followed by a short jaunt to the P-A-R-K. We shot some video, which I'll post soon, and just played with our kids. I gotta say - I love being the father of daughters, propecia for sale. I'm sure that'll change around 14, but for now I'm relishing in it.
We won't see her today or tomorrow. Saturday, she'll spend the afternoon and spend the night for the first time. We'll spend increasing amounts of time with her all next week and then on Saturday the 15th, she'll come home forever.
A few observations
This long transition has been frustrating. Propecia for sale, In many ways, I think gracie would be fine if we just brought her home for good today. She's extremely easy going. As foster parents, we never got to have any kind of transition to see our kids off, and I'm really glad Gracie's foster mom has this time to "let go" so to speak. That being said, we fully intend to keep her involved in Gracie's world and this extended time of ambiguity is rough on the emotions.Here's the hidden benefit - we are gathering so many little nuggets to share with Gracie someday:
- Her foster mom's friend calls her "Beautimus."
- While foster mom was rubbing lotion on Gracie's legs one evening, she grunted and said to Kristin in a deep voice, "Mmmm - she's got healthy legs."
- These things seem little, but they are the kind of peccadillos we can laugh with our daughter about for years to come.
As I mentioned, the fundraising was a a significant pride-hurdle for me. Aside from the obvious blessing of God's provision, something more occurred through that process, propecia for sale. As I scanned down the donor list, Cheapest plavix, I realized that God had done a work in each of these people's hearts. He had stretched them challenged them, and sanctified them in some way through this. Having given sacrificially for our adoption, they are different people than they were before and that has nothing to do with us. This adoption is much bigger than we are. God's vision of family is so much larger than what we typically hope for.We've got a solid 1.5 weeks n front of us before placement. I'm going to do my best to write as regularly and transparently as I can. Thanks for listening.
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