AdoptiveDads.org - Foster Care, Adoption, & Fatherhood

Browse by Category

Keep up with Adoptive Dads

  • Subscribe via email:

Archive for August, 2009

  • Alprazolam   

    TK Laux Alprazolam, Michael sent me a link to this video the other afternoon. I watched it immediately and was not really prepared for the emotional sucker punch. So, be warned - Choosing Thomas is poignant and very raw. Every dad should see it.

    T.K. and Deidrea Laux's son, Thomas, was born with Trisomy 13, alprazolam. Well before his birth, they knew he would not live long, if at all. The Dallas Morning News is doing a series on this story and this video is the first installment, buy lasix online. There are two things that've really stuck with me since watching it yesterday.

    1. Love in spite of loss.

    Alprazolam, It made me think about the foster children we had hoped to adopt. The days - sometimes weeks or even months - of uncertainty about their permanence in our family made us feel helpless. "The phone call" from the case worker informing us they'd be leaving. It could be days or weeks before they were gone, but eventually they'd be taken and we'd probably never see them again. But we still loved them like crazy because it wasn't about us. When asked why they chose not to terminate, the couple said,

    We didn't not terminate because we were hanging onto some sort of hope that there was a medical mistake or there was gonna be some medical miracle, alprazolam. We didn't terminate because he's our son.

    2. Ordering soma online cheap, Loving a person instead of an ideal.

    There's a scene where they are picking out a casket while Deidrea is still pregnant. The sales woman is explaining the differences between various selections in such a way that they could be purchasing anything - like a car seat or a crib. No parent plans on that. Alprazolam, Nobody gets married and thinks about picking out their unborn baby's casket. Similarly, no one daydreams about choosing not to parent a child, or about learning they're infertile, or about losing a nearly-adopted child to a birthmother who has decided to parent.

    It's difficult to say whether any of these similarities quite matches the degree of pain the Laux's must have experienced, which is why I think we have something to learn from T.K. I don't know him, cheapest phentermine prices, but everything I saw in that video is a hardcore example of fatherly love. If you have ten minutes (and a private place to have a good, ugly cry), you should definitely watch it.

    Similar posts: Cheap bactrim. Cheap propecia online. Cheap tramadol online legally. Lowest price lorazepam.
    Trackbacks from: Alprazolam. Generic cialis. Order xanax. Doxycycline pills.

  • Where To Buy Propecia   

    UT athletic director tells how he and his wife were called to adopt Where to buy propecia, For me, two things that mix well are football and adoption.  Granted I am biased, as an adoptive dad and college football fan.  But some of our previous posts - such as my story about my one and only football experience with my son really and the adoption storyof U. of Georgia coach Mark Richt - prove my point.

    Here's another good adoption story with a football angle.  It details the adoption journey of U. of Tennessee athletic director Mike Hamilton and his family.

    Mike and his wife Beth are very open about the role their faith played in the adoption of all five of their children - two adopted domestically, and most recently three siblings adopted from Ethiopia.  Mike explains their adoption journey in the following way: "I can’t define it except to say it’s God-inspired. If you’re not a Christian, it might be tough to understand, but that’s where we are."

    In the article, Beth states, "Our first two adoptions were us trying to form our family with God's guidance, where to buy propecia. Buy cheap plavix, These adoptions were about God giving us His heart."  Like me and my wife, infertility originally led the Hamiltons to adoption.  But as with so many others (including us), God used their early adoption experiences as a gateway to further opportunities to both be a blessing and be blessed.  Rather than pitting those two types of adoption experiences against one another, as if were one were more 'right' or 'noble' than the other, I love the way Beth explains how God was at work in each -- just differently.

    The article also goes on to deal with the question of why the Hamiltons chose international adoption and not domestic (for their most recent adoptions).  Mike Hamilton responds:  "There are 500,000 orphans in the U.S., ordering phentermine online without prescription, 147 million in the world.  The point I want to make is, these are kids God has placed in the world. We need to reach out and care for these kids. Let's not talk about kids here or in Africa or Russia or wherever. Let's just do it."

    Well said.  Whether it's adoption or foster care, Order xanax online, whether it's advocacy or prayer, whether it's 'here' or 'there,' we have been given a great opportunity and a tremendous privilege to put love into action for the benefit of those who are close to the heart of God.  In light of that, I think Mike's right - let's just do it.

    Similar posts: Cheapest levitra online. Alprazolam prices. Cheapest lorazepam online. Buy lorazepam without prescription.
    Trackbacks from: Where to buy propecia. Buy alprazolam from canada. Cheap clomid online. Cheap zoloft tablets.

  • Cheapest Levitra Online   

    Cheapest levitra online, I still frequently run into the idea, somewhat to my surprise, that "love is enough" when it comes to overcoming the very real challenges faced by many children impacted by adoption and foster care.  Don't get me wrong - love is essential.  Of course I'm not talking about the sentimental notion that borders on magical, but rather the real thing - love in action.

    As many adoptive and foster dads have discovered, what our kids need in order to heal and become all that God has created them to be is our compassion, our understanding, a willingness on our part to learn and seek help and a determined commitment to provide them what they need in ways that deepen our connections with them.

    A friend of mine (Billy Cuchens) recently wrote this brief story and I think it illustrates this reality well.


    A Temporary Delay


    By Billy Cuchens

    During foster care training, an instructor told Laurie and me, “Remember when The Beatles sang All You Need is Love. In foster care, forget about it. It takes a lot more than love, cheapest levitra online. The children coming into your home are there as a result of some form of trauma and you’re going to need a lot more than love. You’re going to need patience, discretion, communication between spouses… I could go on and on.”

    I thought about this a few months later when our foster care agency placement office called about placing a sixteen-month-old boy. They told us he had developmental delays, that he’d require Early Childhood Intervention, and that he had been diagnosed with Failure to Thrive – where an infant who fails to gain weight or grow properly for an extended period of time. Although we were nervous about what that meant, we believed God led this child to our home and accepted the placement. Cheapest levitra online, Once the CPS worker dropped him off, we learned within just an hour what they meant by delays. He was very small, still in nine-month clothes, and only weighing 18 pounds. Cheap levitra online without prescription, While his body was bone thin, his belly protruded from malnourishment. He was unable to walk and even his crawl was stiff and awkward – one hand made a fist and the other flat. His cry was soft, almost silent, even though tears streamed down his face, as if he’d already decided nobody was listening and gave up trying to be heard.

    I remember my wife rocking him in her lap and crying, cheapest levitra online. “Are you worried that he has too many problems?” I asked.

    “No, this is the son God has given us.” Her bottom lip quivered. “My heart is just so broken for this little one. How could someone do this to something so precious?”

    We spent the next few days reading books on where a sixteen-month-old boy should be developmentally. Cheapest levitra online, It took several days before he’d let me pick him up, so he spent practically every waking moment with his new mom as she worked with him on speech and walking and, within a few days, he took his first steps. A few days later, he gave us his first smile, a chipmunk smile with two big teeth on the top and two on the bottom with round cheeks. He even learned the baby sign language for “please” and “more.”

    Laurie also paid special attention to nutrition and researched what foods would be better to help him gain weight while still nourishing him. Every hour, we fed him a combination of nutritionally dense foods and a liquid diet of Pediasure. To her delight, getting him to eat was no problem. He ate like a garbage disposal – beets, brussel sprouts, etc, cheapest levitra online. After a few weeks on his mom’s diet, he put on weight and soon grew into the proper clothing size for his age.

    I thought it would bother me that he attached to Laurie so quickly but not me. But in recalling some of the horror stories of attachment from our training, cheap lorazepam tablets, I was just glad he was attaching to Laurie. I figured with enough patience and compassion, sooner or later he’d attach to me. Cheapest levitra online, Once he did, he clung to me like any son would cling to his daddy.

    We gave him his new name, Isaac. He continued to progress far beyond what CPS, our agency, and even his mother and I thought possible. In fact, he’d progressed so quickly that Laurie asked the ECI specialist to reevaluate him. They determined that he no longer needed any help and that, in a shockingly short amount of time, he had caught up to target for his age in every area. Even his asthma symptoms went away over time, cheapest levitra online.

    Ten months after coming home, we went to court and finalized Isaac’s adoption. Even now, he continues to have some behavioral issues. The trick for his mother and me is deciphering which issues result from past trauma, which are typical boy behavior, and which are bad habits he’s picked up from us. At first, we feared the unknown. Order levitra overnight delivery, I think we both wondered how we’d be able to care for a high needs child. But we figured it out – with a lot of love, patience, compassion, etc – and we can look into the future knowing that whatever may come up, we can figure that out too.

    .

    Similar posts: Cheap cialis bars. Cheap cialis. Cheap alprazolam overnight delivery. Discount propecia.
    Trackbacks from: Cheapest levitra online. Cheap soma. Cheap generic prozac. Where to buy levitra.

  • Cheap Tramadol Overnight Delivery   

    help Cheap tramadol overnight delivery, Many adoptive parents can attest that the adoption journey often presents a myriad of challenges, especially early on.  This is why it is so very critical for those in the waiting phase as well as those who are still in the 'honeymoon' period to begin to get prepared, get connected, stick together and maintain the proper perspective.

    This article, Help. We're Adopting, from the August 2009 issue of Adoption Today magazine, cheap generic acomplia, focuses on how you can do just that.  The article also features Scott McClellan (another AdoptiveDads.org contributor), his wife, Annie, Cheap levitra, and their precious little girl, Elise.  Scott and Annie really took to heart the need to find support and helpful resources early on in their adoption process, and as a result they are well prepared for any twists and turns they may encounter as their journey unfolds.

    Let us hear from you.  Tell us what worked for you as you got prepared, stayed connected, clomid generic, stuck together and maintained your perspective - or how you are in the process of doing these things.

    Similar posts: Buy generic diazepam. Synthroid without a prescription. Lowest price acomplia. Cheap levitra overnight delivery.
    Trackbacks from: Cheap tramadol overnight delivery. Cheap lorazepam online without prescription. Order online. Buy lorazepam.

  • Order Cialis Online Legally   

    Picture 16 Order cialis online legally, As dads we have the incredible responsibility and privilege to create strong and healthy connections with our kids in order to help them grow to be healthy, happy and all that God has created them to be.  At times this can be quite the challenge, and even more so for parents with "children from hard places" - kids who have abuse, neglect, trauma or other types of harm or pain in their background.

    Empowered to Connect is a great new resource that provides adoptive and foster parents with the practical tools they need to forge meaningful and lasting connections with all children, especially those from "hard places." It features the work of Dr. Karyn Purvis, Director of the TCU Institute of Child Development, prozac generic. A great many adoptive and foster families have already benefited from Dr. Purvis' insight, wisdom and practical approach to parenting.  Empowered to Connect is aimed at sharing this insight and these practical tools with many more families. Viagra prices, This resource currently consists of an online library of articles, audio and video presentations covering a variety of relevant topics. In addition, it will also include a study guide that will be available later in 2009.  Great for individual use or small group discussions, this study guide will highlight and examine many of the Biblical principles that serve as the foundation for the approach and interventions taught by Dr, ordering soma online legally. Purvis in her book The Connected Child.

    Be sure to visit the Empowered to Connect blog to subscribe to receive email updates or the RSS feed.

    Similar posts: Cheap diazepam no rx. Cheap tramadol overnight delivery. Cheap viagra tablets. Cheap levitra.
    Trackbacks from: Order cialis online legally. Buy generic levitra. Cialis prices. Soma online cheap.

  • Buy Diazepam   

    Buy diazepam, This is the seventh post in our series, The Reality of Adoption: Confronting Common Myths. To read the overview of the series and find links to the other installments in this series, click here.

    Myth: All adopted children will experience problems and issues.

    Reality: While some adopted children will experience problems and issues, the pervasiveness of such problems is not as significant as is generally assumed. The heart of the matter, however, is that adoptive families have an opportunity to provide a child with unconditional love for a lifetime - and that love has the power to transform the lives of everyone involved.

    It is more often thought than said, and it’s loaded with assumptions, myths and fear. We see it reflected in many different ways, from off the cuff statements to feature length motion pictures. I'm referring to the commonly held notion that children who were adopted have more problems than others, and for whatever reason or no reason at all if you adopt you are likely to spend a lifetime dealing with “someone else’s problem.” Sound harsh and unfair, buy diazepam. It is, especially because on so many levels it is untrue, unfounded and obscures the true joy and blessing that so many families find through adoption.

    When talking about this topic I often hear adoptive parents somewhat defensively remark that there are no guarantees that children born into families won’t also have problems themselves. While certainly true – children that enter a family whether by birth or adoption can be born with or later encounter problems, issues and challenges of various kinds – it seems to also miss the point. This line of argument likely leads directly to even more questions and discussions about if and to what extent adopted children have more problems and challenges, what those might be, whether they can be overcome and on and on.

    Instead our starting point must always be to affirm that children are a gift from God (Psalm 127:3 Buy diazepam, ), each fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) in the image of our Creator. This is true of all children, not just those without so-called “problems.” That the brokenness of this fallen world came crashing in on a child resulting in abuse, order prozac online legally, neglect, abandonment or relinquishment in no way takes away from that child's God-given worth and preciousness. We must always keep this in mind as it alone - not a child’s history, issues or behaviors - determines that child’s true value and worth.

    With that in mind, the question still remains: Do children who were adopted experience and exhibit more problems than children born into families. The answer is yes . , buy diazepam. . and no.

    Some research and studies and have shown that adopted children do experience (in varying degrees) higher incidences of social, behavioral and educational problems and maladjustments than non-adopted children. (Psychological Issues in Adoption by Brodzinsky and Palacios (2005), p. Buy diazepam, 118).  These differences are based on a variety of factors and causes, such as age at adoption and past history of abuse or other harm. However, these differences are far less dramatic in non-clinical studies than they are in clinical studies (Psychological Issues in Adoption, p. 118). In addition, while the differences can be significant, the overall effects of these differences between adopted and non-adopted children are shown to be of a small to moderate magnitude (Psychological Issues in Adoption, p. Cheap cialis, 119). Yet at the same time, various studies show that adopted children are on par and even in some cases ahead of their non-adopted peers (see generally Psychological Issues in Adoption and a 1994 study by the Search Institute comparing adopted teens with their non-adopted peers), buy diazepam.

    The bottom line is this: each child that is adopted is as unique as each family that opens its heart and home to welcome her. Many adopted children will face challenges and issues of various kinds. These may be due in part to a prior history or abuse, neglect or trauma, the grief and loss associated with adoption itself, or they may be unrelated to adoption altogether. Whatever the case, we are left with this basic question – will these children have the unconditional love and support of a well prepared and committed family. Buy diazepam, I am certainly not suggesting that those considering adoption, nor those of us already traveling the adoption journey, ever take lightly the potential problems, issues and challenges that children may experience. For this reason it’s extremely important that we examine our motivations and expectations, take the initiative to become educated on a wide range of relevant topics and intentionally seek out meaningful and supportive relationships with others who will offer their insight, prayers and encouragement. And far from being just a few more items on the long list of adoption “to do’s” that are important before a placement, these steps must be an ongoing part of every families journey well after their child is home.

    Despite whatever difficulties and challenges may come, the miracle and the blessings of adoption remain. What others may see as “someone else’s problem,” adoptive families know as their privilege and joy. Adoption grants us a different perspective, a unique vantage point if you will, about what it means to love unconditionally. And as we learn to fully embrace our children with this unconditional love in action, amazing things will happen - not only for our children, buy cialis from canada, but for us as well.

    Here are a few additional resources relating to this topic:

    Empowered to Connect

    Tapestry Post-Adoption Resources

    Adoptive Families Magazine Special Report: Nature & Nurture – A New Look at How Families Work

    Search Institute Report (1994): Strengths of Adoptive Families

    University of Minnesota – MN/TX Adoption Research Project

    Evan B. Donaldson Institute Policy Paper:  Adoptive Parent Preparation Project Phase I: Meeting the Mental Health and Developmental Needs of Adopted Children by David Brodzinsky.

    Similar posts: Buy viagra. Zithromax online. Ordering soma online legally. Buy tramadol online.
    Trackbacks from: Buy diazepam. Order prozac from canada. Order xanax no rx. Order tramadol online.