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Archive for September, 2009

  • Cheap Lasix   

    birthmom

    A few weeks ago I shared about my wife's encounter with our first foster child's mother Cheap lasix, . That chance meeting changed the way we felt about birthparents and birthmothers in particular. When it was finally our turn to adopt and to meet our daughter's birthmother, my "fresh perspective" was put to the test. For the purposes of context, I’ll simply mention that we did not meet Gracie’s birthmom until about a year after her adoption.

    The adoption agency facilitated the meeting, but in the hours leading up to it I was nervous. I respected her, hurt for her and, above all, I was deeply thankful for her, cheap lasix. I was anxious over the idea that she might resent Kristin and I. I was also anxious over minutia, like how I should greet her. Do I shake her hand. Hug her. Cheap lasix, Maybe I should just smile and sit down. Cheap generic clomid, She arrived at the agency before us and was waiting when we entered the room. She smiled, walked up to me and gave me a warm hug. Kristin received the same. We sat down on some sofas, exchanged some small talk and then she began to share with us how she came to make the most painful and, in my opinion, courageous decision she would ever make. Kristin and I shared with her how we had come to adopt the baby girl she gave birth to, cheap lasix. The conversation was dense. Somehow, she seemed so familiar, as if we’d known each other for some time. Not what I expected. Before we said goodbye, buy viagra from canada, she gave us her phone number and email address. Cheap lasix, I gave her our phone numbers, email addresses and - in true geek fashion - our blog addresses and twitter usernames.

    When our oldest daughter was born, she was the perfect mix of both Kristin and I, and my vision for our family looked one way. When we had our first miscarriage... and then our second - and I longed to meet those babies, the picture changed. When our first foster placement arrived and we had visions of adoption it changed again. When our last foster placement left and I wept uncontrollably it changed again, cheap lasix. When we met Gracie it changed yet again. When she and Jaimes ate breakfast together for the first time, when we met Gracie's birthmom, when Davy was born… I could go on. Order clomid online, The bigger and messier my idea of family becomes, the more I am reminded that God's plans for me are bigger than me. The picture of family I used to hold up now seems so near-sighted and boring. I have no idea what my family will look like in five years and I find that incredibly exciting.

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  • Cheap Synthroid Online   

    tree2 Cheap synthroid online, Recently, actress Katherine Heigl (Grey's Anatomy) and her husband welcomed home their daughter, Naleigh, whom they adopted from South Korea. It's great that Heigl adopted, and it's great that the couple adopted a special needs child. But the most interesting part of the story for me is that Heigl's sister was also adopted from South Korea. In other words, Valium sale, Heigl grew up as part of an adoptive family and felt compelled to extend that legacy as an adult. Along these same lines, I recently reconnected with a guy I hadn't talked to in a few years and found out that he was an adoptee and that he and his wife adopted their son a few years ago. Wow, cheap synthroid online.

    It's hard to articulate why, but this idea of an adoptive legacy really resonates with me. For those of us who are adoptive or foster parents, cheap cialis, I hope our kids want to continue the legacy as adults. Not to put any pressure on them, of course, but kids from adoptive families who grow up and start new adoptive families might be good indicators that their parents did something right. Buy lorazepam without prescription, Since my daughter is only a year old, check back with me in 25 years and we'll see how I did ...

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  • Where To Buy Cheap Phentermine   

    Three Things Where to buy cheap phentermine, “Hey kiddo, you sure are special.”  I suspect many kids hear this often from their parents.  I know my kids do. 

    In fact, since my kids were little I have told them three things almost every day of their lives: “I love you, you’re special and I love being your daddy.”  As they’ve gotten older we even converted this into our very own sign – three fingers sticking up, each representing an element of my reminder to them.  As they are getting out of the car for school in the morning I typically flash three fingers at them.  In response, Grant, my seven year old, is always good for a “I know dad – you love me, I’m special and you love being my . . .” as the car door slams to.

    So the other night we got to talking right before bed and Grant asked me, “Daddy, why am I special?” 

    “Good question,” I replied, as I bought myself some time to compose an answer.  “Why do you think you are special?” I asked. 

    “Because I was adopted?” Grant replied, as if asking me to confirm that he got the answer right.

    In Grant’s response I was reminded of something that we as adoptive parents must be sensitive about.  Our adoption stories are indeed special, cheap alprazolam bars, full of miracles, joy and blessing.  Our children are special, themselves a miracle and a joy and a blessing.  But our children are not special in the same way that our adoption stories are special.  Even more importantly, our children are not special because of our adoption stories.

    Our children are so much more than a story – more than a past, present and future.  They are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of a loving and gracious God.  They are passionately loved by this same God and they are objects of His pursuing and redeeming grace.  They were made by Him and for Him.  This is what makes them “special” and imbues them with unimaginable worth, where to buy cheap phentermine.

    I know firsthand how our understanding of adoption changes over time.  This is true for us as parents as well as for our children as adopted persons.  Maybe “changes” is not the right word – maybe our understanding simply becomes more complete.  As the years go by and the complexities of our story become more evident and understandable, we and our children gain new perspectives and discover varying emotions and realities associated with how “we” came together as a family.  Some of these perspectives reveal a fresh sense of amazement and wonder; some of these emotions and realities can be difficult and even painful.  As a result, it is important that our children are neither defined nor valued in relation to their adoption story.

    Having collected my thoughts I replied to Grant, Order alprazolam online, “No, silly.  You’re not special because you were adopted – although I do think you have a pretty special story.  Why are you special?”

    “Because God made me?” he replied.

    “That’s right,” I said.  “And who loves you?”

    “You do,” he said.

    “But who loves you more?” I quickly replied. Where to buy cheap phentermine, “God does, I know.”

    “Hey, Grant . . .” flashing three fingers as I walked toward the door.

    “I know, you love me, cheap lorazepam online, I’m special and you love being my daddy,” he said.

    How true that is.

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  • Ordering Levitra Online Cheap   

    Shaun Groves is a talented and thoughtful guy who operates a great blog at shaungroves.com Ordering levitra online cheap, . Yesterday, he posed the question of whether adoption is a universal or individual calling for Christians -- the post is a quick read but is good food for thought, phentermine online.

    My guess is that most of us would agree adoption is an individual calling but that orphan care is a universal calling, Plavix pills, and maybe that's the point Shaun is trying to make. Maybe by leading folks to insist that orphan care, not adoption, order alprazolam no prescription, is a universal calling, Shaun is hoping those same folks will start believing and practicing that which they're insisting.

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  • Order Ultram Bars   

    16 Order ultram bars, Believe it or not, I don’t watch a lot of MTV or reality shows these days. Don’t get me wrong ... I love TV. I just prefer more sophisticated programming (e.g., sports). However, my wife recently introduced me to two reality shows, one of which is on MTV, that changed my perspective on birthmothers.

    Honestly, I don’t know much about birthmothers, order ultram bars. I’ve heard stories -- some good, some bad, some true, generic valium, some exaggerated -- but I’ve never met one. That’s why I’m glad I had a chance to “meet” a couple of birthmothers via episodes of Adoption Stories (Discovery Health, I think) and 16 & Pregnant (MTV).

    What I saw challenged a lot of commonly-held stereotypes and fears surrounding women who end up deciding not to parent. The episodes that I happened to watch featured birthmothers who loved their unborn children, wanted what was best for their children, and struggled with incredibly difficult issues. Order ultram bars, I confess I’m having trouble articulating the effect the show’s had on me but I’ll try.

    In the past, I could never imagine placing my child for adoption. After watching these shows, Ordering lorazepam online legally, I could never imagine:


    • being faced with raising a child at 16

    • relapsing into substance abuse

    • having a parent who struggles with substance abuse

    • having a parent imprisoned for most of my formative years

    • feeling like I was unable to provide a safe, healthy environment for my child.


    The reality is that people face these issues everyday. After being confronted by that realization, I found myself with much more compassion for women who find themselves pregnant in the midst of the difficult factors I mentioned above. They weren't scary or crazy or out of control; they were overwhelmed by the combination of mistakes and circumstances. I’m still processing all of this, and I have MTV and reality TV to thank for that.

    If you want to watch the 16 & Pregnant episode that I saw, you can do so on MTV.com here. By watching the video online, you’ll be safe from tuning your TV to MTV and accidentally catching an episode of The Hills. See, tramadol online stores, I’m looking out for you.

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  • Ordering Cialis Without Prescription   

    roots

    Photo attribution: Martin LaBar

    Myth: Ordering cialis without prescription, Birthmothers are irresponsible, selfish, and untrustworthy.

    Reality: Birthmothers, experience a loss and grief adoptive parents can identify with.

    My wife, Kristin, was walking into the CPS office, holding our foster child, B. He was one month old and had been with us two weeks. We had already met numerous people involved in his situation - both from the state and from our agency - and now Kristin was to meet another caseworker to facilitate B's first parental visit with his mother.

    "There's the little man," said a woman greeting her as she walked through the CPS doors, ordering cialis without prescription. The woman was confident - put together. "I'm his mom, Order propecia, " the woman said.

    Kristin introduced herself. Needing to sign some papers, she set him down in his carrier. Ordering cialis without prescription, "Can I get him out?" his mother asked. "Is it okay if I hold him?"

    Kristin was a little unsure of herself. She didn't know what was allowed and the caseworker hadn't arrived yet. "Of course," she said. On top of that, B's face had started drying out and peeling a couple days prior. "His skin was so beautiful when he first came," she said, ordering cialis without prescription. "I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong."

    His mother was kind to her. "You might try Jojoba oil," she said, buy viagra cheap. The women chatted about skin care until the caseworker arrived.

    Some background...


    We were privy to many of the details surrounding B's removal from his mom's care and had grown a bit haughty, developing a very one-sided view of the situation. Ordering cialis without prescription, We were good and his mom was bad. We knew that wasn't true, but we still thought that way, at least until Kristin’s chance encounter rounded out our view of her. It didn’t make us second-guess B’s removal, but the experience made us as aware of our similarities as we had been of our differences. The more we contemplated that, the more deeply we cared for her. Occasionally, Viagra no prescription, we would pray for her.

    Four months later, when B went to live with his dad and grandmother, we had a very different view of our position as foster parents, ordering cialis without prescription. We felt a faint echo of the ache his mother must have felt when he was removed. We played an important role in B’s life and we hope our prayers played a part in his mother’s life because meeting her changed us.

    Our brief exchange about lotion with B’s mom informed our attitudes when we adopted our daughter months later and eventually met her birthmom. I'll share more about that in part two. To be continued...

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