Help! We're Adopting
Many adoptive parents can attest that the adoption journey often presents a myriad of challenges, especially early on. This is why it is so very critical for those in the waiting phase as well as those who are still in the ‘honeymoon’ period to begin to get prepared, get connected, stick together and maintain the proper perspective.
This article, Help! We’re Adopting, from the August 2009 issue of Adoption Today magazine, focuses on how you can do just that. The article also features Scott McClellan (another AdoptiveDads.org contributor), his wife, Annie, and their precious little girl, Elise. Scott and Annie really took to heart the need to find support and helpful resources early on in their adoption process, and as a result they are well prepared for any twists and turns they may encounter as their journey unfolds.
Let us hear from you. Tell us what worked for you as you got prepared, stayed connected, stuck together and maintained your perspective – or how you are in the process of doing these things.
Scott Bolitho says:
Very good advice for those who are in the process of adoption, or considering adopting. We are now the parents of nine children; two are biological boys ages 26 and 24, and seven through adoption who are 9, 8, 7, 7, 3, 3, and 1. Four joined our family at birth from inner cities across the U.S., one was three years old from Houston, and the other two were toddlers from Korea. Each child has his/her own story, and thus their own issues. I agree so much that prospective adoptive parents need to do as much research as possible and discuss the issues with parents who have adopted, especially if you are considering adopting an older child. We read all the books we could, and it still didn’t prepare us enough for what we were about to embark on, or what we are still dealing with five years after bringing the older children home. Not only does it change the dynamics of your family, but it will change your relationships with your extended family and your circle of friends as well.
We have to parent each of our children in a different manner. You might say you have to do that with your bio kids, but unless you have adopted, you can’t truly understand what I mean.
However, all that being said, adoption is a wonderful gift, not just to the child, but to the parents as well. My wife and I have both felt a calling to do this, although she had to drag me along for a little while!! But once I saw our daughter’s eyes open for the first time (we adopted her at four days old) she had me wrapped around her finger, and I have been puddy in her hands ever since!
Please, for all of those who are considering adopting, be prepared, but don’t be afraid!
Thanks for this forum!