In Which I Actually Thank MTV
Believe it or not, I don’t watch a lot of MTV or reality shows these days. Don’t get me wrong … I love TV. I just prefer more sophisticated programming (e.g., sports). However, my wife recently introduced me to two reality shows, one of which is on MTV, that changed my perspective on birthmothers.
Honestly, I don’t know much about birthmothers. I’ve heard stories — some good, some bad, some true, some exaggerated — but I’ve never met one. That’s why I’m glad I had a chance to “meet” a couple of birthmothers via episodes of Adoption Stories (Discovery Health, I think) and 16 & Pregnant (MTV).
What I saw challenged a lot of commonly-held stereotypes and fears surrounding women who end up deciding not to parent. The episodes that I happened to watch featured birthmothers who loved their unborn children, wanted what was best for their children, and struggled with incredibly difficult issues. I confess I’m having trouble articulating the effect the show’s had on me but I’ll try.
In the past, I could never imagine placing my child for adoption. After watching these shows, I could never imagine:
- being faced with raising a child at 16
- relapsing into substance abuse
- having a parent who struggles with substance abuse
- having a parent imprisoned for most of my formative years
- feeling like I was unable to provide a safe, healthy environment for my child.
The reality is that people face these issues everyday. After being confronted by that realization, I found myself with much more compassion for women who find themselves pregnant in the midst of the difficult factors I mentioned above. They weren’t scary or crazy or out of control; they were overwhelmed by the combination of mistakes and circumstances. I’m still processing all of this, and I have MTV and reality TV to thank for that.
If you want to watch the 16 & Pregnant episode that I saw, you can do so on MTV.com here. By watching the video online, you’ll be safe from tuning your TV to MTV and accidentally catching an episode of The Hills. See, I’m looking out for you.
Amanda L says:
Thank you for posting the “16 & Pregnant” link. I watched both the “Catelynn” episode and the segments of the follow-up episode in which she was interviewed.
I was filled with compassion for this birthmother and for the birthfather, who was involved every step of the way. Their choice of adoption was certainly not easy, especially considering the lack of support from their own families, and their child-centered mindset was amazing.
We are just starting our journey toward adoption; I cannot imagine being in the shoes of the adoptive parents who went through this process, and were also under the watchful eye of MTV viewers to boot. They were so gracious and loving, not just to the baby, but to the birthmother & birthfather as well. A very inspiring story; thank you for sharing.
Scott says:
Amanda,
I’m so glad to hear that the episode was meaningful for you. Several weeks later, I still find myself thinking about here and there.