AdoptiveDads.org - Adoption + Fatherhood

Mystery and Adoption

I don’t mind telling you that Lost is, in my opinion, the best show on TV. Of all the things that set Lost apart from the rest of the pack in my mind, mystery stands out. Mystery is so integral to the show’s composition that it permeates every scene. Of course, mystery isn’t unique to Lost–it’s at the core of dozens of popular TV shows (e.g., CSI, Law & Order, Monk, etc.).

The interesting thing about mystery is that while it makes for exhilarating TV watching, it can make for difficult living. As I think back on my family’s journey to adopt our daughter, the hardest part about it was the mystery. We didn’t know if we’d get a referral before Vietnam closed to adoptions from the US. We didn’t know when the US would finally give us approval to travel. We didn’t know what our daughter would be like or how she’d react to a new life with two strangers. We had no clue how a little baby would make it through an international flight. Mystery was a constant companion in our adoption process, and that made it tough.

For those involved, mystery often yields fear, anxiety, doubt, and sleepless nights. Our adoption process was no different, but in the end we made it through with the help of God and our community of support. After some reflection, I don’t resent the presence of mystery at every step of our adoption story. Instead, it feels as though mystery–the element that makes Lost worth watching–made our story worth watching, too.

Here’s to helping one another embrace the mystery of adoption. In that mystery lies a lot of beauty, grace, and faith … and what could be more exhilarating than that?

(By the way, check out Lost guru J.J. Abrams’ fantastic presentation on the value of mystery here.)

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