Thoughts On the Stigma
Last week I came across this blog post by adoptive dad (and freelance writer) Kevin Hendricks on overcoming the stigma that surrounds adoption in our culture. Kevin recently welcomed home his son Milo from Ethiopia, so he brings heart and perspective to the issue.
As I read Kevin’s post, I had to remind myself that I can’t change the perceptions of our culture at large or the perceptions of the thousands and thousands of adoptees out there (even though I wish I could). What I can do — what we can do — is make a continual effort to change the perceptions of those around us. We have the privilege to of defining adoption for our kids, our families, our friends, and our coworkers. The more we take advantage of that opportunity, the more the stigma disappears from our culture.
Hazel Chua says:
Oops, I thought my first comment on this one went through, must be some internet glitch from my end.
I’m from the Philippines and my husband and I adopted a 16 month old (18 months in 2 days – how quick time flies!) boy through our local social welfare system. We, too, are fighting against the stigma and one thing that struck me about this cultural and social issue is the fact that sometimes, in my country, the adoptive parents themselves become willing parties to the problem by refusing to acknowledge and admit to their children that they have adopted.
Over the course of our adoption process and even when we finally brought Tommy home nearly two months ago, the number of times we were asked, “will you let him know he’s adopted?” and “are you sure you want to let everybody know he’s adopted?” was unbelievable. There was even one time I was talking to this old lady (a neighbor) who, for odd and perplexing reasons, kept on lowering her voice down to a sheer whisper whenever she’d say the word “adopted/ion”, it felt so weird I was dying to respond by saying the words “adopted” and “adoption” loudly. I didn’t, but I was really itching to.